I got to get better at this

Man oh man. I got to get better at updating - because when the time comes to sit and update ... I try to rack my brain about the things that have happened and I draw a blank. I don't want to continue to just update on the things I have taken images of, I rather you know the things that have changed me, molded me, broke me, and healed me. I rather I go into detail about the blessing it is to have the reality of "God, break my heart for what breaks yours" come rushing into your life. Last Monday our fasting day went a tad different. We walked in silence around our neighborhood, praying for the spiritual walls to fall as the walls of Jericho fell. We went into the woods in the pouring rain and sat alone with God and just fully basked in his beauty and creation. My time here is getting better and better yet harder and harder. The challenges are daily but the reality of the love that pours from those challenges our weigh any hardship they could bring. I'm being super challenged to be patient as living with a community is proving to be harder and harder each day. Everyone of my roommates (minus me and Sandra) has gotten the flu and I pray that I don't fall into this sickness. Our outreach is soon, my Mom comes soon, and just the thought of being in bed instead of on the mission each day ruins me. I have recently picked up a new book called "Crazy Love" and it is completely flipping my mind about Christ's love for us. Cindy's teachings are getting more intense and more interesting. We are diving into new topics all the time and the whole classroom is hungry for answers to their questions. The other day she pulled out a part of her testimony and showed us a little about the Mormon church. Cindy was a Mormon (whole new blog post) and the insight to their twisted perception on life, love, Christ and especially marriage threw me for a loop. She is uber qualified to be teaching on this as well, it was not just her faith but her life - she was a teacher in the Mormon church, leading conferences, classes, seminars in her early 20's. On Thursday we were at Feeding The Hungry again (FTH if that happens to pop up) and this week was crazy for me. I love this outreach but I'll have to admit it isn't my drive for STN. Some people live for FTH days, I on the other hand just know that on those days I will be stretched beyond my limits - needing the shoulder of God and it's a growing day for sure. This week I was overwhelmed with the impact these amazing people had on my life. Emelie and I got to speak with a man for a good while about Jesus. Just straight up talk to him about our Father. He had a lot of questions, doubts, concerns, assumptions.. you name it - he had it. Not to say I had all the answers of even half of them but God totally led the conversation and it was great. It made me go home and search out some of the answers to those questions  - which I totally loved. As FTH kept on going the prayer tent this week proved to be way more intimate and completely rocking my world. Normally on these days we get home around 5:30. This specific day we got home around 8:00. It's crazy that I walked into it having a "uhg not again...but it will be good for me tude" to "was I just here from 11-8?" The food bank totally rocked my world with veggies and fruit and I couldn't have been more fulfilled from a day of serving the homeless. FTH continues to be a challenge for me but a challenge that always changes me more than I could imagine I could ever possibly change anyone else.

Some things that could definitely use some prayer this week would be the health of us all - not just me but all of us. Living in community is impossible to keep the sickness out and how epic would it be if the sickness cycle stopped. Also our outreach has hit some issues with visiting the leper colony - the trail has been closed. So pray that the trail will re-open and our team will be able to make it down to the colony to love on the unloved. And beyond the STN walls keep Jay Stewart in your prayers and the entire Stewart family for having a loved one sick is so hard. And as for me just keep praying that my heart will be open, my ears will be ready to hear God's voice and my feet will move in the direction of his will.

Much Love and Aloha!