An update on "me".

So lately I feel like I have just been giving updates on what we have been doing and even at that... I tend to update the things I have time to take pictures of. And those things are our days off, our times of goofing off and playing. Because when we are in class, at work, serving, or on outreach -- my time is not even close to the camera. There is not a moment to stop and take images and than I fail to update everyone on that part of my day. So I am so sorry. But for this update -- let me update you on "me".

Before I got here, I was certain I would be surfing everyday. Before I got here, I was set on a trip to Bali. I was set on being at the beach all the time, in the sun every minute, eating fresh fruit, good foods, and smoothies. I figured we would be teaching kids how to surf - just like we do at home. I assumed I would never have time to be on my computer and I would always be out on a mission. I knew we would learn about God and that I would be challenged with living with so many girls. I had read about our outreaches and I had braced myself for a few things. I knew we fasted one of the days but I never thought twice about the impact it would have. I just figured -- eh we can't eat for a day -- no biggy. I was pretty certain I would be here for 3 months and want to stay in Hawaii because who wouldn't want to live here. All of these things and a few more, compiled together made up my recipe for Surfing The Nations. Little did I know that my recipe was not the same one God has planned. For mine seemed to be made from a box, only with a few outside additional ingredients and God had a whole recipe from scratch ready to challenge and stretch me in ways I never imagined.

With that crazy recipe ... let me fill you in as much as possible. For each day there is a new addition of ingredients. My heart as been flipped upside down. God has pushed me in so many ways it's nuts. I find myself yearning to be in fellowship rather than wanting to surf by myself and get away. At home I was spoiled by knowing the break and here I'm the outsider. It's as if my priorities have done a complete flip and even though I'm learning a lot - I'm still standing on my head sometimes trying to figure out how to live. I never would have thought I would be praying over people - hearing their hurt and hugging them, loving on them, showing them they are worth it. I knew we would be working with the poor but I never would have  guessed we would be living with them. God has pulled me out of every little comfort zone and stuck my right in the middle of chaos and crazy. How could I have imagined I would have been on a Bus Outreach where I have met some of the most amazing individuals. I would have totally missed out on meeting the woman who found out she has cancer and is now visiting all the places that she lived and loved. I had no idea I would be sitting next to such a story. We talked for the entire bus ride about her life in Sri Lanka, Hawaii, the Mainland, Europe... Sri Lanka? Seriously out of all the places someone could have lived - she was in Sri Lanka, a place that is been pulling my heart for the last few weeks. She was so full of life and so absolutely blessed to have met me, me me? Lady I'm blessed to have met you! The outreaches we go on are nothing I could have ever expected. I would have never thought that I would be holding a little boy, as he is clenched on my side he looks as me and grabs harder. He cries when his Mother comes to get him and as soon as she sets him down he runs back in my arms. It brings tears to my eyes to simply imagine what is going on at home. I bend down and grab him, hold him and try not to think about his hurt but rather just loving on him. I would have never guessed I would be serving the homeless every week and even though many treat you like you are worthless and need to give them more, screaming at you in a language I've never heard - I still smile because Christ fills me with so much joy I can't help but continue to love them. Who would have guessed I would be loving living with so many girls, who would have guessed that I love that most of my roommates are Swedes. I'm pretty sure prior to this I've never even thought of Sweden. God has rocked me, stripped my of all my clothes. I am no longer dressed with the garments I had before - I now stand completely naked in front of him - praying, searching, yearning for clothes to glorify him and only him.