Travel All Across This Land

 

I can't even tell you how many times I have watched this video. 

A small depiction of my time home, a short insight of my family, a little sneak peak of the love and an evident abundance of blessings that God has poured into my life. This past weekend home was beyond words and beyond emotions. 

God has taken me from the town of Cannon Beach to the town of Wahiawa, from Egypt to Israel and now here I sit just recently returned from a moment at home. When I decided to buy my ticket home it was in response to a spontaneous idea of surprising my sister for her baby shower. In the big picture of life a baby shower really is nothing you can't bare to miss but the love I wanted to shower her with is. When I thought of surprising my Grandpa and getting to love on him, spend time with him and just see his face again - my heart broke. When I imagined the look on my Grandma's face when I wrapped my hands around her, tears began to form and there was no way I was going to stay back. I was going home! God opened up so many opportunities to go home and reconnect with existing supporters, create new contacts with those hearts God is pulling to jump on board with Surfing The Nations and simply get to be a service to the "PR" of STN.

My sister-in-law, Ashley, planned everything with me and honestly the trip would not have happened without her. We decided to surprise Mom and Dad but by that time I had already blown it to Mom (knowing she really hates surprises), so Dad was in for it. The surprises were an additional excitement for me but what it was really all about was flying home to show the ones I loved the most, just how blessed I am and honored I am to have them in my life.

But as I boarded the plane to go back to Hawaii, I realized a few more things. I realized God's plan for this weekend, not mine. I came humbly to the reality that a mirror was placed in front of my face, a reflection of my life was constantly playing forcing me to take a second look. And what I saw was a heart neither here nor there. What I saw was no longer was Oregon my home and not yet is Hawaii. I couldn't truly accept the fact that my "domain" was no longer an ownership. Without doubt my "home" still is comfort and my family still gives me the home I grew to know. But my home is not established. Christ allowed me to realize that my identity found in surfing, art, writing, Oregon, friends, relationships.... all of that cannot be my identity. For my true identity that can never be compared to, taken from, tainted nor destroyed -- my identity in Christ is what I must obtain. My heart is in limbo on where to land, where is my home if it's not the place I've always known it to be. And to ignore that God has called me here is an ownership I need to accept. Though Oregon, my family, friends and life I had before will never leave my heart and will always call on me, I must grow roots where God has called me to. I love Wahiawa. Just as I did when I left for college, roots were grown and now there a sense of home left in Eugene -- roots must grow here and Christ must be my identity each step of the process. God has called me to no dwell on the past, nor be expectant of the future but be patient and joyful in the present. 

"I could try and point the finger

But the glass points in my direction

Sure you've got your sharp edges

But my wounds are for my own reflection

You've got nothing I could ever hold against you

I've got fatal flaws to call my own"

Jon Foreman - A Mirror Is Harder To Hold

I'm excited to grow roots in a new place and though it's been months, it's been mere days of taking ownership of this new adventure in knowing that it is not a short term but a lifetime choice. So as God has it, it has taken me to "travel all across this land" to figure it all out. From Oregon to Egypt, from Israel to Hawaii -- God has had my path blazed but now I have found it and am choosing to walk in bold faith and  run in his direction. 

A special thanks to :

Kim and Dena Barnett

Joel and Ashley Nelson 

Steph and John Riley 

For making this trip happen, you guys will never know the impact this weekend had. 

Take it as it is....

I can't begin to title this post because no title could hold an explanation of what I need to update on. My biggest challenge lately has been to truly be present in where God has me and not get lost in making sure I am in contact with everyone at home, supporters, family and friends. Sometimes I feel as if with all of this effort I lose the point of why I am here. I lose the opportunity to be fully here both with my heart and my head. So that may explain the sporadic updates and to be honest I'm going to try a once a week (I feel like that's a good balance) update rather than a once a few couple weeks or try the trend I started when I was here, which was pretty much everyday. During the internship I had the joy of updating everyone everyday due to my schedule but now during SLS and transitioning into Staff, there is no time to breathe most days - let alone express to you my time here. But as a promise to those who have made it possible to be here, I will make it possible to keep you up to date with God's hand in my life. So.....



I honestly don't know where to begin, to I update you on the events or memories.. or would you like to know how God is working in my life and my heart. So with not knowing really what is wanted, let's just give a little taste of everything.

I know the last thing I touched on was the SLS "adventure" trip and for sure that was an adventure and for sure there is always more to tell about that. But for now I'll move on and as I write this I begin to realize that what I want to talk about needs a post of it's own. So take this post as an apology for not being prompt on my updating, take it as a promise to keep you informed and take it as a challenge to comment and let me know what you guys want to hear about.

I feel as if...

I feel as if I have a lot to share, so here is my best attempt to share it. Here is my best attempt to not only catch up on the events of my life but also the challenges my heart is working through.

I take a big sigh as I begin to write, a sigh that expresses a heavy heart, a healing heart, a blessed life and an excited soul. Lately God has taken me on an adventure of a lifetime. Yes it's been an epic adventure since day one but as of late not only have I been blessed by physical adventures but also an emotional adventure. Emotional sounds like such a negative word, a word filled with tears and uncertainty but does it have to be that way? I would like to think not. So without the words become distracting and my mind traveling so far it would be impossible to explain back to the main point. Let me get there now.

Last week would be the crux of this all. Last week the Surfer's Leadership School I am apart of when to the Big Island for our adventure trip. We were prepared to rough it, live off the land and have a crazy hike to the valley we were going to but I don't think any of were ready for the "eternal adventure" about to happen. For me personally God spoke my language through a camping trip to allow me to look in the mirror and really address some character, leadership and community "characters" that need to be more like Christ. It has been a crazy few days of processing and even though it's been tough, it's a ride taken with Christ that gives me the peace to settle. Along side tears, talks and testimonies - peace and affirmation is found in knowing no matter what God's got it.

 ( the team after the crazy hike to the valley) Stay tuned for a post just about the hike and less about my crazy processing.