Be Still.

"Be still and know that I am God." [Psalm 46:10] Be still I told myself, be completely still. Do not move in any wordly way, do not be captured by emotion, take captive all evil thoughts and be still and know that he is Abba Father. These past few days here at STN have completely changed my life. For Psalm 46:10 no longer was a verse I knew but a passage I lived. Last Monday was our sabbath, we fasted and did no work. We had teachings, prayers, giving, worshiping but nothing consumed us that was not in the glory of the Lord. Have I ever fasted? I asked myself this on Sunday night. Have I ever fasted for the true meaning of fasting and not for a JR High activity when we ran around playing games, singing songs and having an all church sleep over? Have I? No I hadn't. And truthfully I was doubting if I even knew the power of fasting. Okay -- ya I get it. You don't eat so you can focus on God and so you aren't distracted by food. Not at all. Sunday night I laid in bed crying out to the Lord that he would purify my heart. I knew that this day was not just a day that meant I couldn't eat but rather it was a day that I shall be filled with the Lord, this is a day I should be filled and fill others. This is a day I should be so fully captivated by God that nothing of this world matters. I prayed that God would strip every single emotion from my heart and that he would give me peace. Morning came and my mind was not on the fact I could not eat rather it was on the fact that I could not wait to see how this day unfolded. We walked into "the bar" and right away it was worship. Worship is my love language, worship is my captivating dance with the Lord. We sang worship songs for so long, we stood in praise with each other - hands lifted high and hearts wide open. During worship God stripped every emotion, every tear was shed and every heart ache felt. Every bit of hurt was released and every single doubt was removed. I sat listening to some of my favorite worship songs, I sat singing out the very words of my heart. I was so full in the Lord, so full of grace and mercy that there was no food, no person, nothing that could possibly fill me up but Abba Father. I never expected that a day of fasting would bring so much clarity, so much peace, so much love. What a day that was so full of the Lord, so full of a moment so sweetly broken at the foot of my Father. This internship is rocking my world, I am daily broken and put back together to follow closer to my Father, to have a deeper relationship with him. From one day I was brought to so much clarity and peace and from one day I fell farther in love with Christ. Be still.

Fasting day was intense. It was epic. It was moving. We just were so filled with each other and being focused on what matters that it honestly never crossed my mind that I hadn't eaten all day.  Part of the day we did a giving Monday sorta thing and we all gave something to someone that we felt they needed or that we were so attached to and "needed" that we should give it up. It was so powerful and moving, the things people gave was amazing. And it wasn't out of oh let me give this to you because I don't care for it, or let me give this to you so you can think I'm no nice. It was so just driven from the Lord and such a selfless moment. After the day was done we broke the sabbath together in a Ohana night (ohana means family) so all of us sat down and had a big feast!